Warning: Stupid Penalty Ahead

By James E. Gaskin

 In my family, we have a concept we call the Stupid Penalty. Yes, it deserves to be capitalized, and yes, I believe the Stupid Penalty concept can help your career. Or, perhaps more technically, keep you from hurting your career too badly.

 What's a Stupid Penalty? You do something Stupid, you pay a Penalty. Lose your homework assignment sheet? Make a bad grade. Forget to bring down your laundry? Do without your favorite shirt next week. Forward that dirty joke to everyone in the office instead of just your buddies? Get fired for creating a hostile workplace and sexual harassment. The Penalty for Stupid can be random and capricious, sorry to say.

 Remember the Stupid Penalty at work, and life will go smoother. My old buddy Stan decided to try self-employment, and I put him to work on a consulting project at a bank. Swayed by more money than usual, Stan got excited and tried to catch up on bills rather than buy health insurance for the family. Stupid! Luckily, the Penalty wasn't severe when his wife got sick, but it did put them back behind the money curve and soured him on self-employment.

 Mouth off at work without looking behind you? Stupid. The Penalty comes when the boss, standing behind you, taps you on the shoulder. Yeah, I did that, several times actually, but only got fired once.

 Employees: Keep your mouth shut around the new guy until you find out whether the boss is his uncle. Don't snag armloads of office supplies lest you become a priority during the next purge. Don't pad your expense account (blatantly). Don't unfairly blame your supplier for screwing up an order (email archives will come and bite you every time). Treat coworkers and management with professional respect, whether they deserve it or not.

 Managers: Do Stupid things to your employees, especially in this market, and your Penalty will be a never-ending recruiting effort. Managers who treat employees with respect rarely pay a Stupid Penalty.

 Job Seekers: Verify the culture of your new employer before burning all your bridges. I once started a new job and heard the manager tell the entire room every one must change to a new sales model. That was Stupid. The lead salesperson, a lady who's commission checks were the envy of all, argued she didn't want to change. Rather than explaining the how and why of the new method (probably wasn't much thought about it from the management side), the manager told her that was the new sales method and get used to it. That was really, really Stupid. The Penalty phase for the manager came when his top salesperson cleared her desk and left.

 How did I handle this? If I was Stupid and stayed, my Penalty would be enduring the turmoil created by management. I spent the day solidifying my other job offer and split, never to look back.

 One of the great values of raising children comes when you realize that corporate problems mirror kindergarten behavior (although corporate successes don't have such a close parallel). But Stupid behavior at age five usually comes with a Penalty of time-out. Yet when adults get into shouting matches because both parties yell rather than listen (or type rather than read the emails), the Penalty choice list carries much more pain.

 Don't you wish you could put co-workers in time-out when they acted Stupid? I can't give you that power, unfortunately, but I can tell you how not to be Stupid.

 Listen. Stay calm. Don't yell back. Don't make personal accusations, or take things personally. Listen (more). Wait before responding. Ask the other person what they want to make them feel better about the situation. Listen.

 When you regularly do Stupid things, your Penalty will be close at hand. If you avoid Stupid, your Penalty will relax and not smack you quite so hard when you slip and do something Stupid.